eggs

The Difference a Year Makes

/ Cantor Jessica Hutchings / Leave a comment

A year ago today, I went to preschool to sing with my favorite kiddos in the Kantor ECEC, and then headed to the Fertility Center of Las Vegas, for an embryo transfer with genius Dr. Bruce Shapiro for our 2nd of 3 healthy embryos (after the prior summers first embryo transfer ended in miscarriage).

We arrived at the doctor a ball of nerves and excitement. The incredible Dr. Sharon Roth met us there to give me pre and post transfer acupuncture. After the pre acupuncture, I waited (with a full bladder) in the waiting room to be called in for the procedure. After 45 minutes, I approached the front desk and reminded them that they asked me to have a full bladder, but I could not wait much longer. They told me to wait five minutes and Dr. Shapiro came out and asked us to come back to the meeting room. I knew something was wrong. He explained that after defrosting our second embryo, he did not like how it looked and was nervous it would not end in a successful pregnancy. He gave us a choice, wait until morning and see if the embryo looks better, or move on and defrost our third and final embryo.

Many tears and much uncertainty followed, but we chose to try our chance with our last but not least embryo. (That second embryo was still saved until morning, but did not survive 😢). The Chazzband and I walked down the street to grab a smoothie while the embryo was prepared. (I had to refill my bladder, after all!) We spoke at length about “What’s next if this does not work?” What if this embryo does not look right, does not lead to pregnancy, or ends in miscarriage again? Would either of us be able to start from scratch with IVF, and bear the financial and emotional weight of the last year? In his wisdom, the Chazzband said, “Let’s just stay positive that this works.”

The office called to tell us the embryo looked great and we were ready for transfer. Fast forward to February 27th, 2020, and Emmett Robert Hutchings, named for his great grandparents Sidney and Roseann Entin and Robert Hutchings, is almost 4 months old, loves music, smiling, grabbing objects (especially Ima’s long red hair), reading books, and his family. He is a miracle, a rainbow baby, and so darn cute. The shayna-ist punim I’ve ever seen!

I find numbers to be a bit b’sheret (meant to be). The egg was retrieved on my mom’s birthday (5/19/18) and the embryo transferred on my dad’s (2/27/19)… I did not choose this, but I do not think it was coincidence either. Emmett says, “Happy birthday, Grandpa Jeff!”

Never stop believing in miracles, always have hope, and never doubt what is possible. Emmett is proof of that.

Be Happy, It’s Adar! Have a Happy Purim, all!

(Picture of the birthday party my friends had for me last year, when he had to break at 7PM to shoot me with IVF hormones in the bathroom. It takes a village! Compared to now, our little bundle we received after quite a journey.)

🥚 All the Eggs 🥚

/ Cantor Jessica Hutchings / 9 Comments

For 14 long days, we’ve been feeding my eggs chemicals called gonal-f, cetrotide, and menopur via scary needles. I say scary because I’ve hated needles since birth.

Today, is Thursday. In Jewish text, B’reishit, Genesis, the narrative teaches that God mentions other days of the week as being good, and on Yom Hashishi (the sixth day, which begins Thursday when the sun sets) it is VERY good.

וַיַּרְא אֱלֹהִים אֶת-כָּל-אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה, וְהִנֵּה-טוֹב מְאֹד; וַיְהִי-עֶרֶב וַיְהִי-בֹקֶר, יוֹם הַשִּׁשִּׁי

And God saw every thing that He had made, and, behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

There is a lot of rabbinic commentary on this line. Basically, mankind was created on day 6, therefore what was once a fine world transformed illuminated by new life created in God’s image…  Hmmm… sounds like my week is lining up with that one. Well, sort of.

Today, in preparation for the setting sun towards a VERY good day, Yom hashishi, my eggs are finally ready for retrieval. New life is almost created. I can feel it. It is tov m’od, verygood.

Retrieval was supposed to be Tuesday… Then Wednesday, then Friday… back-back-back it was pushed because my follicles weren’t ready. A cancelled vacation, a frustrated and emotionally charged self, and a husband who didn’t want to give his wife one more injection… I was feeling like if I wasn’t measuring up today, I never would be. But I am!

Tonight, we switch from the usual meds to one final shot… Lupron. 34 hours after I’m injected tonight, the 32 follicles in my ovaries will be pierced with a needle, and hopefully, beautiful eggs will be retrieved and mixed with the swimmers to create an embryo. (If this makes you a little queasy like it does me, don’t worry, they put me out for this!) It’s science meets God’s will. It’s sci fi and awesome.

These last 2 weeks have been a challenge. The injections left me exhausted, with a constant headache, and more bloated than I had ever been (it’s what happens when the follicles enlarge in the ovaries.)

Halfway through, my Poppy (grandpa), passed away. It became necessary that I go to Florida to support my dad and honor Poppy’s memory. I packed my meds in ice, and thankfully have the most incredible sister, who watched youtube instructionals to prepare to stab me. We got off the airplane, late for the shot, found a companion bathroom in the aiport, and setup IVF shop. Never did I ever think I would be injected with drugs in an aiport bathroom… there is a first time for everything.

Multiple ultra sounds and blood draws later, I’m finally ready.

This Shabbatis going to be a very very good one.