Just a blog post to give you the news and address the beautiful wishes, prayers and encouraging love you have all surrounded us with.
Let me begin with some answers.
1. A birth announcement with his name (and picture) will be made public on the 8th day of his life, per Jewish tradition. The actual bris is delayed due to his jaundice and my emergency c-section but I’ll tell you about that later. We are doing great, just need a couple of extra days of recovery.
2. The bris will be soon, and private. We will have a naming before the community on 2/14/20, my first official service back. It will take place at our service called “Shir Shabbat of Love” featuring the Shabbatones. We hope you can join us that evening at CNT at 6:15PM. There will be an oneg in Baby’s honor to follow.
The birth story?
I had a premonition that something would go wrong when it came time to deliver. I feared dying in labor. I feared being paralyzed by the epidural. Thankfully, really really thankfully… those first two fears were not a reality, but there were close calls.
I feared I would be in labor for hours only to need a cesarean. My only reasoning was my own mother’s experience having me, and my big head. I told my doctors… multiple times. There was no tangible evidence that this might happen, so we went ahead with plans for a vaginal delivery. Even after guesses of a big birth weight, he ended up measuring normal to large on the ultrasound. Doctors determined he was ready and we went with a scheduled induction a couple days before his due date.
We arrived for our 7:30PM induction on the full moon Monday night. As we were anxiously and nervously walking into the hospital, they called to tell us they had too many walk in emergencies, and we had to go home and wait. Around 10:45PM, we received the call that they had a room ready. We walked in and up to the 4th floor where they were waiting for us. After check in, medicine began. It was about 12:30am on 11/12/19. Contractions began, and I made a tiny bit of progress on dilation. By morning, my support team had arrived. None of which, Jeremy or I could have done without. My mom and sister were invaluable cheerleaders and I can’t imagine this happening without them, and my doula, Nan, a retired L&D nurse of 32 years, is the most amazing angel I have ever known. For 24 hrs, my complete advocate, guide, captain of the cheer team… everything. If you can arrange for a doula to accompany your birth process, I can not recommend this enough.
By the time the team was complete, contractions had kicked up, but I wasn’t dilating so much. Dr. Pack came in and said he wanted to break my water. He sent in the laborist, who decided it wasn’t time. Dr. Pack was determined, and came in a couple of hours later to do it himself. My dad and stepmom made it in just as the action picked up (and along with three of my best ladies: Dani, Jolie and Lizzie via FaceTime, stuck it out in the waiting room, keeping things entertaining, until they heard we were safe.)
After that, labor progressed rapidly. Contractions were 2 min apart, then 1, then 30 seconds… and they were INTENSE. I insisted on moving from my back and trying different positions to labor. The best position was on the birthing ball. I probably spent two hours there, experiencing contractions until I declared it was time for an epidural. Of course, the anesthetiologist was busy, so we began a round of pain medicine that was a great bandaid for the waves of unbearable pain. Eventually, the epidural came, and my blood pressure tanked to the point of passing out and dropping baby’s heart rate. I came to with several nurses turning me on my side and stabilizing mine and baby’s vitals. The process continued like that was totally normal. I dilated to a 6 and we were more than halfway there. Once I received the epidural, it quickly seemed like I had reached a 10, and was told, “It’s time to push.” I thought, this went way better than I’d expected! Hard part is almost over!” Looking back, I don’t really remember much of the details in order… and it got worse… much much worse.
The Push
After I began to push, I was surrounded by my team, and I was giving it my ALL. Let me tell you, those workouts these last 10 months and leading up to pregnancy were the best possible thing to do to prepare. Forget the teas and recipes… Instead? Lift, stretch, walk, dance… move… if you want to be prepared for this. Special shoutout to the best pilates instructor, Alexis, for encouraging those bridge poses and my trainers Krystina and Heidi for all of the prenatal moves… I cannot say more about how much this helped.
The Emergency:
All of the moving aside… Baby didn’t want to exit the old fashioned way. After 4.5 excruciating hours of pushing… including 2 hours of asking for the doctor to come in, it was decided that a c section was needed immediately. By then, the epidural had worn off… I was feeling not only my baby’s head in the canal, but contractions like none other. I was paralyzed by pain. Just rolling me from labor to the OR had me doubled over the hospital bed pleading for relief.
Once in the OR, I remember them asking the Chazzband to wait while they prepped me, scooting me onto the table, putting my arms out horizontally, and then waking up with a baby in my arms, in recovery. Due to my extreme exhaustion, the spinal tap for c section completely knocked me unconscious.
I missed the birth of my own son.
The week before I jokingly said, “Why can’t we just get knocked out and wake up with a baby in our arms. It would make the process a whole lot less stress inducing.” Little did I know, that’s an option, and not one I would recommend.
The doctor felt bad that I was unable to witness the birth because my body was so defeated from pushing so long, the epidural acted like anesthesia. It will be something I long to know, forever. But at the very least, Jeremy witnessed his son being born at 12:23am on November 13th (both World Kindness Day AND his great grandfather’s birthday— who he is named after.) That… is priceless.
Now, Recovery:
When I came to in recovery, they had placed baby on my chest. I could hardly feel him because the epidural had reached my fingers and even parts of my chest and face. I was paralyzed from the belly button down and numb from the shoulders down. I said, “Did I have a baby? Is he mine? He’s so beautiful. But I can’t feel him.” It was incredibly difficult to know I had to hand him over because it was too dangerous to have him there without my sensations working. I was also shivering uncontrollably for four hours due to the shock. As soon as my fingers started to tingle, I asked to have him back. He immediately attached to me like we had never been separated.
The hours that followed are quite blurry. We’ve had a few visitors but mostly are just trying to adjust on our own to parenthood. Due to the trauma, baby has jaundice and I had some extra recovery, so we’re still in the hospital and hoping to make it home in time to bring in his first Shabbat as a family. The bris will be a little delayed, but he should enter the covenant before Thanksgiving.
I have to mention the Chazzband again… he is my hero. He’s never left my side, and while he did almost pass out (which I blame on his strict keto diet, but more likely it was the sight of active labor!), he has started out fatherhood completely hands on. He’s letting me sleep and recover, and he’s changed way more diapers than me. I’ve never seen him more amazed and overjoyed than he is looking at his son. I knew he would be the greatest daddy, and 2 days in, he’s proving that to be true.
It is not all sunshine and rainbows. This road was bumpy, and it’s only just beginning. What’s different now is this bundle of miracle that we have the opportunity to rear.
***Thank you***
*I want to thank all of our nurses, CNAs, doctors, and even the CEO of the hospital, Sam, who made our experience a safe and happy one. Other than one (pretty big) blip with the delivering doctor, I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. I’m grateful to my GP Dr. Stephanie Lehrner and OB, Dr. Ed Pack for helping us diagnose my infertility and helping us find Dr. Bruce Shapiro who literally made this life possible. Dr. Sharon Roth, the most amazing acupuncturist, who treated my infertility and every pregnancy symptom. Throughout this process, all of them including Dr. Keith Brill, and my hero Nurse, Nanette Spector, have guided us through this. It took a village of family, friends and amazing medical guidance to get here. We are indebted forever.*
What’s next?
Thank you, all of you, for your support and love through this all. Hopefully you’ll continue to follow the blog to watch baby’s journey and see what the future holds for our little family.